THURSDAY 28th MARCH 2024.
The big day has arrived.
I recall being asked a few months ago when still in UK whether I preferred a morning celebration or an evening one.     I thought maybe it’d be cooler in the morning, so I suggested such.
I now realise that could have been a mistake.
05:30. That was when the “music” racket started at full volume. Little wonder Thais shout at one another… they’re partially deaf.    OK the music is traditional “country” Thai music but it’s not to my Western taste and why-oh-why does it have to be so LOUD? Normal speech impossible.
06:00: Aom’s makeup crew arrived and set about making her look even more lovely than she naturally is. People milling round doing their stuff be it floral displays, table laying, food preparation all with the ridiculously loud “music” hammering away.    But, it’s our special occasion and Aom has always wanted a traditional Thai wedding so I’ll go with the flow but maybe with some ear-defenders in place.
07:00: Aom’s lengthy make up done and it was my turn. Well that was done in less than 60 seconds; a quick hair brush and that was it….. talk about sexism.
08:00: A massive photo-shoot with two photographers. I’ve never had to grin or smile so much before. Must have been several hundred photos in all.
09:00: The ceremony begins. WOW!! What an experience! Absolutely out of this world!.
The groom, yours truly, along with family and friends will form a procession to carry khan maak or engagement trays to the bride’s house. The items on the trays are sinsod or dowry, betel nuts, incense sticks and candles, grains, and other auspicious items, all of which represent love, prosperity, fertility, and longevity in Thai culture. The procession is very cheerful as people sing and dance .
In other words, I, along with a retinue of about 15 people including my Best Man, Mee, as Thai tradition dictates, had to disappear down the track and walk back up top the house where my bride was waiting.
Next comes the "Gate or Doors Ceremony"
When the procession arrives at the bride’s house, it is immediately blocked by the symbolic “gates”. These gates are called “pratoo ngoen” [ประตูเงิน] or silver gate and “pratoo tong” [ประตูทอง] or golden gate which are actually silver or gold belts or chains held by the brides’ female relatives and friends. To be able to get through each gate, the groom, or the respected senior on the groom’s side needs to call for a “toll” for the gatekeepers. The groom may be given a hard time as the gatekeepers usually ask him to complete a funny quest or jokingly tell him the toll isn’t enough to gain access. In my case I had to bellow at full volume "AOM, I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH". The first three attempts at this were refused by the "gatekeepers" as I was not shouting loud enough.
The next part of the wedding ceremony was conducted by a senior elder who was a member of the bride’s family and a respected member of the community. During the wedding ceremony, we wore traditional Thai clothing and knealt in front of the senior elder, with me, the groom on the right. The couple ‘wai‘ as specially prepared white thread, ‘sai monkhon‘, is looped and used to link together the bride’s and the groom’s heads. It is symbolic that the thread forms two circles which whilst linked, also remain independent. This indicates that the couple’s destinies are linked, but individual identity is retained. The circle is also symbolic because of its continuity and the fact that merit can be carried around in the circle.The senior elder then pours sacred water over the hands of the couple. Bowls of flowers are placed underneath the hands to catch the water. The guests then bless the couple by also pouring water over the hands of the couple in the ‘rod nam sang‘ ceremony.
Next comes the Shell Ceremony or "Rod Nam Sang". The bride and groom wore garlands round their neck and kneel and wai whilst the elder said a few words and anoints them on the forehead. A conch shell (known in Thai as ‘sang‘) is filled with holy water and is used by each guest to gently pour over the hands of the newly-weds (‘rod nam‘ means to soak with water). Each guest places a gift, usually an envelope of money, in a basket. The amount given is supposed to depend on social status. In return the guest may receive a small memento of the wedding day before the group photos are then taken.
Next in line is the White Thread Ceremony or "Phiti Bai Sri Su Kwan" We, as newly-weds sat next to each other whilst an old and wise man says auspicious things and blesses the wedding. White threads are linked to the wrists and soaked with holy water.
The final part of the ceremony was the Sai Sin which is where lots of relatives, friends and well-wishers tied pieces of white string, ‘sai sin‘, around the wrist of us both to wish us good luck. These string bracelets are meant to be kept on for at least 3 days to benefit from the good luck bestowed. Money is often tied into the white sai sin as well.
. After all the ceremonies, it was time to patrol all the tables where the 100 or so guests were seated. Lots of wais at each table. Each senior guest normally offers an envelope with money inside. This took some time to go and visit each and every guest.
This duty performed it was time to chill a little. It was great to get out of my Thai wedding tunic and put something cooler on, especially as the temperature was now 38°C.
I assumed the wedding day would stretch well into the evening and I was surprised when the music suddenly stopped at around midday and guest started to drift away.
We were at least able to truly chill-out and relax and get an ice-cold Chang beer.
There was certainly abundant supplies of food left over. In the afternoon, we set about stripping the tables and chairs of the wedding finery and stacking the hundreds of chairs.
The floral people collected the displays and the marquees we dropped.
With only the Best Man and Bridesmaid (Mee and Mon) and their family left it was a case of chilling out over dinner and drinks everyone was very weary and, believe it or not, an early night was a done deal.
It remains for me to say again what an incredible experience the big day was; absolutely wonderful; I would not have missed out on for the world!
Most of the Wedding photos are on the next page

• TOP LEFT:      Aom getting the full make-up treatment prior to the wedding.

• TOP RIGHT:       Tables and chairs set ready to receive the wedding guests.

• CENTRE LEFT:      [as above]

• CENTRE RIGHT:      Mee & Mon; aka Best-Man and Bridesmaid.

• BOTTOM:             Best-man, Mee.